Another Great honest piece! Love the letting go of balloons image. And recollections from the dressing rooms.
My two cents? Wait till you get into your sixties or / and illness is visited upon you…. I mean, NO fucks given. It’s liberating in spite of feeling and often looking like shit. We women must stop catering to societal / cultural / media demands and to men who have largely promulgated such hideous ideals since forever— remember the tiny deformed stub of Chinese women’s feet leaving women pained and utterly helpless to mobilize therefore dependent upon men…. Or the whale bone corsets… the cruel misogynistic patriarchal system with its f’d up rewards and punishments associated with not being beautiful. To hell with all that.
A well-told and insightful piece, Joanna! I remember your phase of life, when I was transitioning out of youthful hotness into a more mature body and mind. It was a thorny transition. I'm 15 years ahead of you, and I'm grateful for my 60-year-old body. I've fully embraced the "I don't give a fuck" stage, which I can't recommend highly enough!
Amazing. Relatable and reminds me of that piece I did for GMP when I was in my own 40s about ruined bodies (remember the “ruined tits” column it was in reaction to). I’m almost 54 it seems like I care less and less who thinks I’m ruined. It’s a good thing
"It was the walk of a woman on display and it brought forth an emotional memory, too: of being a young woman with an identity just barely developed. Someone who wanted to be seen while trying to make sure it didn’t seem like she wanted to be seen.
Then I exhaled, rooting myself back in my 40-something body. Just the memory of being that young was exhausting."
RIGHT? That thing we did - that we almost had to do as products of this era - it was exhausting. It was soul-sucking. And there's been this freedom in seeing that I did it, and understanding the whys/hows of it all. Your Longform essay really named so many aspects I hadn't quite landed on. I honestly love aging for this, I love how we all are helping one another along, finding words for things our mothers' generation probably never could speak or even understand in their 30s and 40s.
I'm so happy I found you and your work. I was talking to friends today about a Carl Jung idea that we don't solve problems but outgrow them, and I applied it to wanting to always look 25 (I am 42)/being outward appearance-focused. I don't think I can solve my desire to look younger, but I think I can transcend/outgrow it.
Thank you for this. A couple of days ago, a friend posted something online about aging, and dozens of women posted photos of themselves talking about how much younger they look than their age. It struck me as ageist, and made me uncomfortable, but I couldn't exactly identify why. This helps.
At 80 you look old...get used to it. You earned every line. Yes, take care of your skin/self but don't be a slave to it. Just be your best self as you are now. That is more than enough.
What a beautiful piece! As a woman in her mid-twenties, so much of this resonated with me. Trying to fit the beauty ideal is more about the idea of forcing women to submit to punishment and deprivation than to the idea that the beauty ideal is actually something attainable. Thank you for reminding us not to give a fuck.
Another Great honest piece! Love the letting go of balloons image. And recollections from the dressing rooms.
My two cents? Wait till you get into your sixties or / and illness is visited upon you…. I mean, NO fucks given. It’s liberating in spite of feeling and often looking like shit. We women must stop catering to societal / cultural / media demands and to men who have largely promulgated such hideous ideals since forever— remember the tiny deformed stub of Chinese women’s feet leaving women pained and utterly helpless to mobilize therefore dependent upon men…. Or the whale bone corsets… the cruel misogynistic patriarchal system with its f’d up rewards and punishments associated with not being beautiful. To hell with all that.
A well-told and insightful piece, Joanna! I remember your phase of life, when I was transitioning out of youthful hotness into a more mature body and mind. It was a thorny transition. I'm 15 years ahead of you, and I'm grateful for my 60-year-old body. I've fully embraced the "I don't give a fuck" stage, which I can't recommend highly enough!
Amazing. Relatable and reminds me of that piece I did for GMP when I was in my own 40s about ruined bodies (remember the “ruined tits” column it was in reaction to). I’m almost 54 it seems like I care less and less who thinks I’m ruined. It’s a good thing
THIS IS IT:
"It was the walk of a woman on display and it brought forth an emotional memory, too: of being a young woman with an identity just barely developed. Someone who wanted to be seen while trying to make sure it didn’t seem like she wanted to be seen.
Then I exhaled, rooting myself back in my 40-something body. Just the memory of being that young was exhausting."
RIGHT? That thing we did - that we almost had to do as products of this era - it was exhausting. It was soul-sucking. And there's been this freedom in seeing that I did it, and understanding the whys/hows of it all. Your Longform essay really named so many aspects I hadn't quite landed on. I honestly love aging for this, I love how we all are helping one another along, finding words for things our mothers' generation probably never could speak or even understand in their 30s and 40s.
FWIW I am a fan of a badass scowl!
I love being this age and just being able to live into these women we can be
I'm so happy I found you and your work. I was talking to friends today about a Carl Jung idea that we don't solve problems but outgrow them, and I applied it to wanting to always look 25 (I am 42)/being outward appearance-focused. I don't think I can solve my desire to look younger, but I think I can transcend/outgrow it.
I love this!
I love this article!!! Thank you Joanna!! 👏👏👏
Thank you for this. A couple of days ago, a friend posted something online about aging, and dozens of women posted photos of themselves talking about how much younger they look than their age. It struck me as ageist, and made me uncomfortable, but I couldn't exactly identify why. This helps.
Zawn, I would love to read an essay about this if you wrote one! I feel this so deeply.
At 80 you look old...get used to it. You earned every line. Yes, take care of your skin/self but don't be a slave to it. Just be your best self as you are now. That is more than enough.
Thank you!!
What a beautiful piece! As a woman in her mid-twenties, so much of this resonated with me. Trying to fit the beauty ideal is more about the idea of forcing women to submit to punishment and deprivation than to the idea that the beauty ideal is actually something attainable. Thank you for reminding us not to give a fuck.
Thank you for this! I'm hoping that this all changes a bit, and there are more options for you as you age and become my age.