The reviews are in and readers LOVE our book!
OK, so it was only one early reader, and it was my mom, but she loved it!
Remember when I used to regularly post my favorite things? Now that the book is TRULY done and about to go off to the printers, I want to do that again.
But before I can, I need to tell you what’s been happening since I last wrote one of those.
Basically, I co-wrote a whole-ass book with Christopher Pepper and it is now available for pre-order at basically every store! You can hit up Bookshop, Amazon, or B&N — or you can walk into your local indie and ask them to order it for you! Yes, it’s on their list and they can do it!
What critics are saying about Talk To Your Boys
Ok so there’s only one critic so far, and the critic in question is my (a.k.a. Mimi). But! She read it all in just one day and texted me the next morning, calling it “great” and sharing that the book “is very well stated and organized in order to be helpful” and “will be very useful for many parents and situations”.
If you don’t see that as truly glowing praise, you don’t have a Dutch mother.
So, the review is in: Talk To Your Boys gets 5 out of 5 stars from 100% of the critics. Specifically, this one, who, right now is probably reading this and annoyed that I’m talking about her so much. Unlike her only daughter, she is more on the shy, serious side. But look how cute she is!
In other news:
I listened to an episode of my boss’s podcast, Getting Open, and loved it so much I wrote a detailed article sharing all of the advice this guy offered that moved me. It was a TRULY fantastic episode and I recommend everyone who has kids watch it. Here’s my (not short) synopsis: 13 Ways To Become The Exact Parent Your Child Needs, Even When They're Struggling.
I watched The Four Seasons and LOVED IT just like the rest of you
I loved the original film by Alan Alda, who is my time machine boyfriend, so I was a little guarded about watching this despite it starring Tina Fey, Steve Carrell and Kerri Kenney (and other favorites).
But it’s GREAT. It’s clear Alan Alda had some influence over the series in addition to playing Kerri’s character, Anne’s, dad.
It is a love story to long-term relationships and a true representation of adulthood in various forms. There are no bad guys, just people doing their best.
Christopher and I gave a book talk to a bunch of teachers at a conference
Not much to say here except that now I know I can give a talk (yay) and that people seem to find us interesting!
My friend Jordan joined Substack and is already killing it
My friend Jordan joined Substack and is already way better than me at it. She is somehow already in the top 10 in parenting and personal narrative (or something like that).
If you don’t already follow her and Ramshackle Glam, please do. She is a truly beautiful writer, is so sweet and funny, and is my IRL friend.
I got an Oura Ring
So far I like this thing better than my FitBit, which was constantly interrupting my life with notifications like “Your ‘Who Gives A Crap’ Toilet Paper Order Has Shipped!” and overall just stressing me out, telling me to stand up or sit down or go swimming or to ride a bike or something.
I don’t know if the Oura Ring is helping me at all, but I do enjoy being free of the FitBit. Ivan and the kids also got me a special Blancpain X Swatch watch for my birthday, and I definitely love that thing for telling time more than the FitBit. The FitBit could literally never.
I will report back once I start doing actual physical activity again so that I can look at the Oura stats without shame.
I started HRT for perimenopause
Before I started, I had only heard ONE friend (my sister in big mouth-ery, Alyssa Royse) talk about HRT and perimenopause. The moment she did, I knew HRT was in my future.
I’ve been in peri for at least three years. The moment of realization was marked by my mother (pictured above) walking into my house and finding me holding two boxes of Amy’s frozen dinners on my face. “Uh-oh,” was all she said.
A year later, while conducting an interview for YourTango’s Relationship Fitness Summit, Dr. Laura Berman (Yes, Oprah’s fave) caught me fanning myself with my hands and turning red.
“Are you having a hot flash right now?” she asked.
“I guess so!” I replied.
She told me that fanning myself was activating my sympathetic nervous system which was only making it worse. In other words, when the heat strikes it can make you feel panicky, and if you react in a frantic manner, you reinforce to your body and brain that this is a frantic moment that deserves a lot more stress hormones.
Instead, she told me to take deep breaths in, hold at the top for a moment, and breathe out long, slow breaths. And when Dr. Laura Berman tells you to do something, trust me, you do it.
And it worked. I continued using this technique until my hot flashes eased off as the HRT kicked in.
Before I started the HRT, I texted my Wonder Twin (who shall remain nameless unless she decides to out herself here) asking what she thought. She replied, and I quote, “I’m already on esty, testy and progesty and I love it.”
And so I started the esty and the progesty in December and added the testy last week.
Life on HRT
So far, so good. My brain is able to think without having to climb through a bunch of fog and smog and whatever else was slowing it down in there. I can sleep through the night, I don’t feel like every muscle in my body aches and my energy is returning to normal-ish after a year or more of feeling like I was walking through mashed potatoes.
And don’t worry about the cancer risk. It turns out the original study that said women shouldn’t take HRT was WRONG. Not just wrong, but VERY wrong and the advice may have put a whole generation (Generation X, specifically) at greater risk for a number of conditions! These days, HRT (when prescribed with Progesterone and balanced by a physician or qualified NP during perimenopause) can lower your risk of a number of cancers as well as osteoporosis and possibly even dementia!
For more info:
Read Women Have Been Misled About Menopause in The New York Times and follow Dr. Mary Claire Haver, an OBGYN who is on a mission to get people the care they deserve during their menopause journey.
I survived having a job, three kids and writing (and editing) a book!
I don’t think “surviving” is celebrated enough. Yes, we wrote a book and that’s awesome. It is the thing that makes us seem special. But we both did this while working regular jobs and raising our children — some of whom have gone through VERY needy phases in this time!
Yes, my house is trashed (everyone says that, but I really mean it) and I look tired, but I did all of that and I survived. I also somehow managed not to alienate my husband (who has been a hero through the actual writing process) or any of my children (as far as I know).
This means I’ve been working 8+ hours every single day, 6 to 7 days a week. When I’m not working, I’m cleaning or otherwise caring for the home, dog or kids. Today, while texting Ivan (who is also working too much), he mentioned “fun”…
“Fun? What’s that? Never heard of it,” I replied. He agreed, fun has sadly become a foreign concept.
First, let’s celebrate surviving. Whether or not you wrote a book, you survived. If it felt hard and you did it anyway, YAY YOU.
My hope is that the next phase of my life, during book promotion and press, I can start having more fun — and I hope you can, too. I want to see my friends again, get back to working out five days a week, and taking vacations where I don’t sit at a desk all day. Imagine that!
Yes, universe, I’m ready for both success and fun. So let’s get started…
I *DO* have a Dutch mother and that is HIGH PRAISE indeed. Telling you something is well organized? That is practically gushing.
yes yes yes all of it!! cannot wait for this book!:) -👯♀️